Hanging Out, Hooking Up, and Celestial Marriage

I was reading an article for my Marriage Preparation class last semester. It was called "Hanging Out, Hooking Up, and Celestial Marriage" by Bruce A. Chadwick, a former sociology professor at Brigham Young University. I gained quite a few insights from this article about dating and marriage. One insight I gained is that we need to reject the Cinderella complex which is to not focus on finding the perfect person and live happily ever after. This mindset does not prepare couples for married life. Instead of looking for "the one", you should look for "a right one." Also, instead of waiting for someone to carry your glass slipper around to find someone for you, you should be proactive and seek someone you like who is worthy of you. This week in my Family Relations class we were discussing family theories. The mindset of looking for "the one" reminds me of exchange theory. Exchange theory views social interaction as a cost-benefit analysis in which people try to keep their costs lower than their rewards. This reminds me of this because many people probably think that some relationships consistently costs them more than it rewards them because they might not think that the person is "the one." They then are likely to avoid that person or break the relationship so they can find "the one."

Another insight that I gained by reading this article was that if you exercise faith then Heavenly Father will give you courage to get married, stay married, and have children.

Bruce A. Chadwick talks about a topic that I feel strongly about, and I agree with him completely. He talks about how you should keep intimacy at an appropriate level so you can enjoy the presence of the Spirit and to be worthy to be married and sealed in the temple. You should not cohabit. Chadwick says, "The truth of the matter is that 30 years of research has made it clear that couples who cohabit and then wed are less happy and are more likely to divorce! Why? Because cohabiting couple are not willing to exercise the faith to make a lifelong commitment, and their commitment does not increase much when they marry."

Another thing that stood out to me in this article is that if you are single you should pray for yourself in a dating relationship and also pray for the young man or woman you are interested in. You should pray for what is best for them which may turn out not to be you. But that is okay. The Lord will bless you, and good things will follow. 

I really like this article because it testifies to me how important marriage and family is and that it is essential to eternal life.